(this is just a heads up, this is a long post)
I cannot really separate being married from the pandemic lifestyle. For me right now, they go hand in hand.
We got married on March 7th. Our wedding was untouched by the world-changing virus, and we are truly grateful. In know a lot of individuals who cannot say the same, and my heart breaks for weddings, graduations, babies, retirements, and deaths that all have not been able to be celebrated or grieved the way we’d like to.
While on our honeymoon we realized we would not be returning to “normal”. Not just because now we are living together and figuring out someone else in my space (ha!), but we made the decision to cancel our wedding party we had planned, and I learned I would not be returning to my office as planned.
We returned home on March 14th, and by the 16th, my work world was turned upside down. Nick’s industry is essential, so Monday morning was mostly “normal”, until he got home, and I had made strawberry scones and cookies with my extra time off!!! While I’m still making homemade baked goods, I have slowed down on the frequency. 😉
Nick and I both love to host people. We call it our “superpower”. Hospitality is my spiritual gift. Acts of service is how we love people. Deep and meaningful conversations around a dinner table gives us LIFE. We were so excited to welcome people to our HOME. Both loving that our doors are always open. Anyone is welcome to come. We want to create space for others, and Jesus.
Never happened. Well, not like we thought it would.
Stay at home. Shelter in place. Get meals and groceries delivered. Learn all the things you can buy on Amazon. Church online. Work online. Learn online.
A new world. What was “new” because I was married? What was “new” because of a pandemic?
Different then my wedding getting postponed or getting married a few months prior to March, I had two BIG events happen at once. I left Atlanta single and my work saying: “I will see you in a couple weeks” and came back married and will most likely not see or hug my coworkers until mid-2021. The story I’m learning is not just figuring out becoming a wife, enjoying the newness of marriage OR experiencing a really challenging season. They are happening at once.
I’m learning a new level of GRACE. God knew my story. He knew the timing of events. He knew I needed a spouse in the midst of this storm. He knew I needed my Meme at my wedding. And with all that is going on, I am reminded frequently my need for Him.
In the midst of it all, God isn’t surprised.
He knows sadness. He knows grief. He knows loss. He knows us.
Nick and I have been married almost 8 months. It’s weird to think I can track a pandemic based on my wedding date. The past 8 months have been HARD. The word I continue to come back to is complex. I feel so many emotions. The days seem simple but also filled. I have less to do and more to do.
One of the hardest shifts in this, was the loss of church routine. A community to worship with. To “do life together”. And about 2 months ago, that prayer was answered. We have been soaking up the time with fellow believers who we get to walk alongside in the midst of this storm.
I keep running back to a verse that I consider my life verse. “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46: 10. While a lot of circumstances in my life I have taken that verse literally, God is teaching me to still my mind. I have found it helpful to meditate on when I find myself asking “How much longer Lord? When will you provide relief? I am reminded: He is WITH us. He wins the WAR. He will PROTECT us.
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present[b] help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
11 TheLordof hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
A few things that I have helped me over the past 8 months:
- A morning routine of stillness, journaling, coffee and working out
- Boundaries with work and realizing the task, the call, the conversation can wait most of the time
- Learning to see people, places and conversations through the lens of gratitude
- The Bible Recap podcast teaching me daily on the ETERNAL story
- Cherishing the dinners with “just Nick and I”
Our work. The Church’s work, must not be done here on Earth, as Christ has not returned. My prayer for our world, the Church, God’s children: in the midst of the chaos, the challenges, the temporary work we’re trying to get done, that our eyes will be fixed on JESUS, our hearts will be captivated by GOD’s love and our words and actions will be the HOLY SPIRIT enabling us to further God’s glory and speak TRUTH to others.
“Thy Kingdom come; thy will be done. On Earth as it is in Heaven”
With grace,
MY BIRTHDAY MONTH! Not just any birthday…but my 30th! I have the best of friends who know me well and the weekend trip to a cabin with a nightly bonfire, hiking, views and great food. And lots of good conversation! I love experiences over gifts and when someone is generous with their time, I feel so loved, cared for and celebrated!
Before it got unbearable hot, I was able to go hike!
still baking, still experimenting…
Work-
Beautiful daughter from some Christ-centered parents!
saygrace 